Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
