Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
