# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
