This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
