I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
