Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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