so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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