Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
