she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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