He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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