Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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