He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
