Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
