I feel great
I just peed on a car
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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