I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nicole vs. Life
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
