I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
