the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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