As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
