...so i touched it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
