Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
