Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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