she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found puke in my bra..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
