so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
