im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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