I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
