Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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