mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i dont even know how to be here
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
