So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
