I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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