Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Shynvor hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

Fav 20 1350 2256
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

Fav 21 8528 1051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

Fav 7 7427 1267
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

Fav 3 2330 1028
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.

Fav 7 1131 1407
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

Fav 2 1960 759
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

Fav 3 1950 797
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.

Fav 3 626 271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

What did you give up for lent?

(415): View more from California

Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...

Fav 0 59 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT