So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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