Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
