how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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