Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
