I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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