Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
