why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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