So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
