i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
