So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
