Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
