I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
