dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
