I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
