can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
