so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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