Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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