ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
