if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
