I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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