FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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