Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
