You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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