I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
